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Reflecting on His Goodness

Posted by: on: April 6, 2011

Wow! I’ve been so MIA but I really want to take the time to document God’s goodness in my life. Things have been moving faster than I can keep up with these days &  not only for myself but also for Alpha. As I revisited this site, I’m reminded of why we even started blogging here. It was to document God’s faithfulness in our lives. And I’m speechless to see how far we’ve come. The Lord has been so faithful to us and it leaves me in awe of God’s infinite wisdom and provision in our lives even when we think we’ve reached rock bottom.

I’ve recently read back at my old posts (My…His plans, A chapter ending, You See Me Through the Seasons, & Be Still) from  when I was first graduating from my undergrad and still unsure of what God had instore in my life and whether He wanted me to pursue grad school or even be in this career. Then to getting rejected and feeling defeated and torn down by everything around me to finally getting the letter that I got into grad school.

It’s just SO humbling to be where I’m at right now. I feel unworthy and so emotional just typing about it because God’s grace and mercy has become so tangible in my life and parts of me feels so undeserving but beyond thankful. It’s true that if you remain faithful to Him, the the Lord will do beyond what you can ever fathom in your life. I can honestly say that none of this is done by my own merit but all through Him. I would not be here living thousands of miles away from my family and friends and pursuing my dreams without God continually showing his faithfulness in my life.

I’ve grown so much and I can’t believe it’s been almost 8 months since I’ve been out here and living my dreams. My faith has been challenged and my integrity has been tested. This has been my time to really practice what I believe when no one knows me. It’s hard and sometimes I forget that I have a higher calling than what I’m working on temporarily in grad school. But without fail I find myself always seeking to be in God’s presence to be in communion with Him. I truly find my strength and confidence in His ability. The challenges of making new friends, living on my own and feeling homesick have added on to the demanding task of getting through grad school. But when I look back and reflect, I really have nothing to complain about. The Lord continues to teach me, guide me, lead me, fill me, and pick me up & because of that I can find peace.

So even though I can’t be on here to blog as often as possible as I used to, I truly pray that this can continue to be a blessing to others. I hope that those of you that find yourself visiting for the first time or if you’ve been a regular follower knows that our God is real. He has never let me go, through my short comings and stubborn nature, God still saves me. I am who I am today because of what He’s done on the cross. I pray that this blog can continue to be an encouragement of God’s hand moving in our lives. The fact that Alpha and I are both pursuing our dreams and both living out of state is a turn from where our lives were at a year ago. That alone is a true testament of how Great He is and how Soveriegn He is.

Continue to pursue Him when things are going well, press on even when you feel like you’ve failed Him. That’s when He wants you the most. Turn to Him. Love him. Seek Him. Draw near to Him. Wait for His perfect timing.

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;

Lamentations 3:22-25

 

Wait for me

Posted by: on: October 31, 2010

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. -Psalm 27:14

The Lord has been impressing that verse on me for quite some time now.

When he said on Song of Solomon 8:4, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” He is serious about it, just like He is serious about every thing He commanded us in the bible. But I am a stubborn eager child of His who thinks that I have a better plan. But He is a sovereign GOD who doesn’t have a better plan but the best plan. As I try to pursue it, he did not hesitate on letting me know after every disappointment that I surely can’t win this battle which has been going on for almost 9 months now. Seriously, what was I thinking?

In response to the question, “Should women pursue men?” a youth pastor said, “Don’t chase a man because if you start chasing him, you will have to chase him for the rest of your life.”

Although I was not actively chasing him but in my heart, I was holding on for something that should have not been there in the first place. All the idea of “us” I have formed in my head and thoughts I’ve entertained. Things I initiated instead of waiting for him.

Is that what I want? Do I really want to settle for something like that? That road, certainly leads to misery and heartache.

Although there is no direct answer in the bible on that question (“Should women pursue men?”), God has laid out some pretty clear guidelines on how man and woman should interact with each other. Biblical masculinity and femininity: how we are to carry our God given roles. Not what the world says but what the word of God dictates.

On Genesis, God created the man first (Genesis 2:7) for a reason. He appointed Adam to work on the Garden of Eden and take care of it (Genesis 2:15). Adam is in charged of the garden and it is his duty to supervise the affairs of his God given dominion. It wasn’t after the Lord recognized the need of Adam for a helper that He created the woman from Adam’s rib (Genesis 2:20b-22). In that fashion, the man is to lead and the woman is to submit under the authority of the man (in Eve’s case, Adam is already her husband).

Note: A woman should only submit to her husband alone (Ephesians 5:22 and 1 Peter 3:1A), not to every guy she dates, she likes or she thinks worthy of her submission.

A man is to lead a woman. And if he perfectly knows his God given role, he should not have a hard time figuring that out. He is to actively pursue the woman. He is not passive but initiate things with respect to her purity and protection of her heart.

So ladies, sorry but the whole modern idea on how women should take charge just won’t fly. That is going against the role God has ordained for us to fulfill. No matter how much we like this one guy and thinks he could be the one, if he is not pursuing you, you are setting yourself for a major heartache if you try to control things in your own hand. Besides, if he really is the man God has for you, he would not keep you guessing on what are his intentions towards you. He will let you know, take charge and win you over. It is that simple! Also, by trying to act like men by doing the work for them (being the initiator, asking him out first, etc), we are taking away the chance for these boys to exercise their responsibility to lead. Remember what God said in Proverbs 31: 12 regarding the godly woman, “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

Note: Preach this to myself.

As for my situation, I will continue to lift it up to the Lord. Because surely, I know that God doesn’t want me to settle for second best. As the Lord said on Psalm 27:4, “You have to wait for me, be strong and take heart and wait for me.”

Wait for him

Posted by: on: September 6, 2010

In response to Emman’s beautiful poem.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. -Psalm 27:14

When God says wait, He is not trying to be a kill joy. He is rather preparing you for something that is beyond what you can imagine.

Ladies, do not just casually give your heart to every guy you date. Quit dating without a purpose. Look to God first,delight in His ways and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

Gentlemen, do not take from these women something that is not meant for you. Guard their heart, respect and love them as your sister in Christ.  Put away all your selfish and childish ways and start living like a  real man (1 Corinthians 13: 11).

Wait for him

Wait for the guy that will pursue you for the rest of your life

the kind of guy that reminds you everyday how beautiful you are

The one that knows your worth

and will never ever take you for granted


Wait for the guy who will be your very best friend

The kind of guy who accepts all your flaws and imperfections

The one who knows your vulnerable side

And strives to protect you all the days of his life


Wait for the guy that always makes you feel loved

The kind of guy who wants to show you off to the world

The one that fills the gap between your fingers

And will grow old with you


Wait for the guy who values his family

The kind of guy you will one day share a life with

The one that everybody would love to have

But will assure you that he belongs to you alone


Wait for the guy who will lead you

The kind of guy you will joyfully submit to

The one who continues to be Christ-like each passing day

And always point you towards the Savior


Wait for the guy who puts GOD above all else

The kind of guy who knows why on earth is he here for

The one who has prayed to GOD in order to find you

The guy who will do everything to win you over , the only one you’ll ever have to give your heart

Wait for her

Posted by: on: August 31, 2010

My multi-talented wonderful friend, Mr. Emman Reyes wrote a beautiful beautiful poem and I just have to re-post it here.

Waiting serves a purpose. Good things come for those who wait. When the Lord says wait,listen to Him. He knows better!

Ladies, strive to be a woman of God described in Proverbs 31. Gentlemen, remember that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” -Proverbs 31:30


WAIT FOR HER

Wait for the girl that you want to pursue for the rest of your life,

the kind of girl that makes everyday seemed like a fairy tale.

The one that brings out the best of who you are,

and never have to prove that you are the best for her.

Wait for the girl who wants to be your best bud;

the kind of girl who understands the imperfect you,

The one that pats you on the back for a job well done;

and shares her shoulder if you need someone to lean on.

Wait for the girl that always makes you smile;

the kind of girl you want to show off to the world,

The one that holds your hand and wipes your tears;

the girl you’ll want to be with until you both get old.

Wait for the girl who respects her family;

the kind of girl that everyone loves to have,

The one everybody knows inside out, yet humbly denies;

The girl who eventually be your family, for the years to come.

Wait for the girl who lets you pursue GOD before anything else;

the kind of girl who knows her purpose in this life and the next.

The one who waits for God to write her lovestory;

and the girl who waits for you too, the only one you’ll ever have to love.

Don’t settle for anything less

Posted by: on: May 18, 2010

By Josh De Gracia, founder of KnowGodKnowLove

A real man is not ashamed to declare his love for God above all things.

A real man conveys on a daily basis how valuable his wife is to him by his actions, his words and his prayer life.

A real man puts his wife slightly above his children:

1. Because that is and will always be his lifelong partner and best friend

2. Because its sets a noble example for children to aspire to in adulthood.

A real man knows the value of his woman and will do nothing to compromise their relationship.

A real man works hard at his vocation so that his wife does not have to…in that same vain…a real man sacrifices external successes, status, symbols, and position for less things in life so he and his children can have a whole wife and mother.

A real man seeks to serve.

A real man cries in front of his children, readily admits and exposes his weaknesses/mistakes so that his wife and children don’t always feel like they have to be perfect.

A real man isn’t afraid to hug other real men.

A real man trusts in God to provide for him and freely gives back in the form of time, money, and spiritual gifts.

A real man admits when he is wrong and apologizes to the person he has offended.

A real man forgives immediately when someone has the guts to say they are sorry and doesn’t later rub in their faults.

A real man always is alert for teachable moments with his children.

A real man keeps himself in good shape to:

1. Show his wife he still thinks enough of her not to let himself go

2. To show his children the same.

A real man is proactive and takes complete ownership of his actions blaming only himself for his misgivings.

A real man holds his wife’s hand in public, opens her car door, and still brings her flowers twenty years after he met her.

A real man kisses his wife and hugs her first when he walks in the door.

A real man takes the time to ask and not assume.

When a real man has to be critical, he criticizes the behavior, never the person.

A real man avoids situations that might question his integrity or character.

Don’t settle for anything less than a real man

This is what I aspire to be.

A Man of God.

Know God Know Love

A Chapter Ending…

Posted by: on: May 3, 2010

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

So for the past couple of days I’ve been having so much trouble sleeping. I’m graduating in about 3 weeks and my mind has been racing. I can’t suppress the feelings much longer and need to face my reality. But I do know that I only have one primary source of strength & hope that I absolutely need right now, and that’s my Jesus.

I’ve gone through life testing out the waters and believing I can do it all on my own but every single time I go running back to my stronghold. College has definitely been a time for testing and opportunities that have not only tested my character but faith. As I look back at the years leading up to this moment, I can’t help but be thankful for a merciful and all-knowing God. Although I don’t know what the future holds for me, I can rest in His sovereignty over my life.

This is a another milestone in my life that I fully dedicate and offer to Him. He’s in control, always has been & always will be. Whatever storm, obstacle, journey, or disappointment I have, I pray that I can rise above it and continue to sing of His faithfulness in everything. I can’t help but stop and think about all His mercies and feel overwhelmed with humility and honor.

So, as I approach this last stretch, I pray that I’d finish strong. Not only academically but finish strong in the Lord. My future is worth nothing without my purpose & direction coming from the Lord.

Lord, I ask that you would calm my heart and my soul & lead me into your presence filled with direction and an overwhelming sense of peace and trust in You Father.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11


My…His plans

Posted by: on: March 9, 2010

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Now that I’m approaching my last stretch of my undergrad, the end is near. But the lessons for sure aren’t ending. And I’m learning that each day. I knew life wasn’t going to get easier or less difficult, but I expected at least a little breather. It only gets harder and more challenging. I only get older and become acquainted with life’s ups & downs.

I’ve set out goals and plans that I hoped to achieve once I got done in May, I had a schedule of how I wanted life to be. Things were laid out to work in my favor and I would eventually achieve the career plans I’ve always imagined out for myself.

But I am quickly getting a rude awakening of the reality of it all. Especially living a life that is directed by me. No one knows for certain what the future has in store except for God. & I’ve found myself trying to take that role in this area of my life. This blog is really hard for me to write because I have to humble myself and put my pride aside. But I know that God is working through this experience.

Have you ever found yourself saying, ” if it’s God’s will…” do the words really align with our true intentions?  I now know that sometimes I say it but in my heart I try to reserve parts of my life that I still want control of.When I started applying for grad school this semester, I was sure that I was resting in the fact that whatever would happen, it would all be in God’s great timing. But after receiving my first letter telling me that they didn’t want me in their program, I was wrong. Although I knew I’d be stretching it, expecting to get into a school like that, I still had a drop of hope. Rejection, no matter the form or circumstance, still hurts. This actually just happened today. But writing this blog is helping me come to terms with how I can direct these emotions of discouragement back to a God who’s still in control over everything.

I know that this is only 1 letter in the midst of many so I have to prepare myself for whatever God has in store. Rest assure in a God who doesn’t look at my transcripts and test scores & who doesn’t need my letters of recommendation.

All He requires of me is an undivided heart, fully and devoted to him. He needs me raw & with no knowledge of my  honors or  GPA. Just Nicole. He wants me in true surrender of His sovereign will over ALL aspects of my life. How comforting is that to think about? A God so Holy and perfect would want people like us? People who are always falling short of His glory. I’m reminded of the peace that God’s grace and sufficiency gives me.

Because for whatever plan I had for myself  today,  may not be what He has planned out for me tomorrow. He’s ultimately still in control, this life is temporary in comparison to spending an eternity with Him…

The war within

Posted by: on: March 6, 2010

1 Corinthians 10:13

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

James 1:12

“Blessed is the man who preserves under trial because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life God has promised to those who LOVE him.”

God is still at work, trying to test how far I can hold on and not let go of His hands. How am I going to deal under all these floating emotions that are clouding His truth in my mind. How long am I going to stay silent and be still, trusting His perfect plan and will.

I have been down this road before and by His amazing grace, I was able to pull through that phase and stay on the road He wants me to be.

This too will pass, I know that.

But the walls around my heart are starting to fall apart and it is tearing me down. So I turn to My Savior, asking for strength. For Him to secure my heart in His hands.

Because it is not time yet…

I have to keep fighting this on going war within my heart.

As He works in molding me to be the woman He wants me to be.

James 1: 2-4

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Let Go & Let God?

Posted by: on: October 18, 2009

Really..what does that mean? To Let Go & Let God??

Letting go hasn’t always been an easy concept for me to easily grasp, especially being the controlling person that I am. It’s a hard thing to hand over the reigns and allow all your burdens and worries to be lifted off of you completely in faith. Sometimes I may understand the idea with my head but not wholly with my heart. Whatever the situation may be, disappointments, breakups, let downs, struggles…we’re called to trust in the Lord right?? But why does it seem that some situations just hurt so much during that process?

I think that’s where I’ve got it all wrong from the get go. Giving it all up to God doesn’t always mean that He’s going to stop you from falling but he will be there when you hit the ground just like He’s been there from the very beginning. Sometimes we need to feel the fall before he can break our fall or else we’ll never know how it feels to really need Him. When we feel the effects of life’s let downs , it doesn’t mean that God let us go, He’s just teaching us how to get back up in deep need of Him. It’s going to be tough, it’s going to be a pain that you may think that you’ll never get through. But we aren’t alone if we’ve got the greatest King as our Lord & Savior in our hearts. Because what may seem overwhelming at the time, God is already overcoming in your life.  He allows us to go through the hurts, pains & dissapointment not to punish us but to test our faith. To test if we’re really living for Him or pursing other things in our lives by voicing empty words that we can’t back up with our actions.

When we say we wanna live completely for Him, we should really examine ourselves before making a commitment like that. Because the minute that one thing your pursuing gets taken away, you’re bound to get a rude awakening of what’s really important in your life. He is a Jealous God and in order for us to experience ALL of Him we have to offer Him ALL of us. The love He offers us is unconditional and isn’t determined by our status, our looks, what kind of car we drive, or whether we memorize the Bible front and back. There’s no way we can ever buy His love or repay Him but accept it as a gift that we are so undeserving of.

The cracks and bruises in our heart that seem so unfixable and far from restoration can be used for His glory. Our brokeness and sadness can turn into worshipping a God who fills the emptiness in our lives. The relationships and arguments that could be far from mending could ultimately be renewed through Him. The Lord understands us & created us, He knows we’re humans, He’s not aloof of our weaknesses, He didn’t create us to be perfect beings otherwise we wouldn’t have a need for such a flawless Savior.

Come to Him in all your rawness, hurts, angers and feelings . The more we hold onto them and harbor them in our hearts, it can lead to things that aren’t pleasing to Him and eventually distance you from His grace in your life. You’re going to want to scream, it’s going to sting, tears are going to flow endlessly but  I find so much peace in knowing that His love for me is endless. His love doesn’t have a beginning or an end. He knew me before I was in my mother’s womb. I’m not this little thing that He could care less for, He knows me by name.  My Father in heaven is actively working in my life and there is a purpose and reason to all the unknowns and ‘dot dot dots’

So this is how I see it ..

How am I going to feel and completely experience His power in my life if I’m still grabbing hold onto the ledge?

We have to fall. He’s molding us, and training us daily to become men & women after His heart. So…

Let it Go

&

Let Him

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-1

Keeping it pure

Posted by: on: September 19, 2009

September 18, 2009 is a very important day for me and Nicole.

We renew our commitment to God with our future husbands in mind on keeping ourselves not just physically but emotionally and spiritually pure.

We looked back and examined all the past actions,thoughts,acts and words we have spoken…most of them are  not very pleasing in the eye’s of the Lord.

In Ephesians 5: 11 it says,Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness,but rather expose them.

That’s exactly what we did! We owned up to our mistakes and humbly present all our failures and shortcomings to our Almighty God. Down at His feet,we asked for forgiveness and His great mercy.

We desire to be women of sexual and emotional integrity,making sure our thoughts,words,emotions, and actions reflect an inner beauty and a sincere love for God,others and our self. But we know that it is not that were never going to be tempted to think,say, feel or do something inappropriate but we will try to diligently resist these temptations and stand firm in our convictions.  [Drafted from Every Young Woman’s Battle]

Ephesians 5:3, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed,because these are improper for God’s holy people.”

We will strive to continually keep our eyes on the prize and turn to God to satisfy all of our needs and desires.

We are to guard our mind,heart and body against sexual and emotional compromise.  To never ever compromise!

So that we can be the kind of woman and wife that was described in Proverbs 31:10-31.

In love,we are mindful of the person we will one day share and build a life with on furthering God’s kingdom.

To seek my future husband’s highest good–starting right now. Becoming a one-man woman. Loving our future husbands with the way we live and the way we guard our pearl of purity. . .all the days of our lives. Not out of obligation, but out of unconditional love for our future spouse and a deep desire to honor our Maker. -Leslie Ludy, When God writes your love story

And when that day comes when I finally meet him,how beautiful will it be.


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