Please keep me in your prayers. For the courage to flee temptation and stay faithful to the Lord. 

I know that I am in a season of  my life right now where God is doing all the shaping, polishing, testing and strengthening of my faith. I just have to keep looking up and holding fast to the word. Because this too will pass…

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. -2 Corinthians 12:9

Not only do we have to fight temptations and sins but also all the things that come in between. The feeling of homesickness, adjusting, loneliness, stress and so much more. It is incredibly hard and painful at times. That I sometimes question myself if this is even worth it. But I know that the Lord put me here for a reason. He definitely knows what He is doing.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. . -James 1:12

The Lord is faithful and I know that He will never ever let me go of His sight no matter where I go. Even if it is at the farthest end of the world, He will always be there.

And that I could hold on to the truth that, “My flesh and my heart may fail,but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -Psalm 73:26″

Please keep me and Nicole in your prayers as we need it more than before.

I’ve recently read back at my old posts (My…His plans, A chapter ending, You See Me Through the Seasons, & Be Still) from  when I was first graduating from my undergrad and still unsure of what God had instore in my life and whether He wanted me to pursue grad school or even be in this career. Then to getting rejected and feeling defeated and torn down by everything around me to finally getting the letter that I got into grad school.

It’s just SO humbling to be where I’m at right now. I feel unworthy and so emotional just typing about it because God’s grace and mercy has become so tangible in my life and parts of me feels so undeserving but beyond thankful. It’s true that if you remain faithful to Him, the the Lord will do beyond what you can ever fathom in your life. I can honestly say that none of this is done by my own merit but all through Him. I would not be here living thousands of miles away from my family and friends and pursuing my dreams without God continually showing his faithfulness in my life.

I’ve grown so much and I can’t believe it’s been almost 8 months since I’ve been out here and living my dreams. My faith has been challenged and my integrity has been tested. This has been my time to really practice what I believe when no one knows me. It’s hard and sometimes I forget that I have a higher calling than what I’m working on temporarily in grad school. But without fail I find myself always seeking to be in God’s presence to be in communion with Him. I truly find my strength and confidence in His ability. The challenges of making new friends, living on my own and feeling homesick have added on to the demanding task of getting through grad school. But when I look back and reflect, I really have nothing to complain about. The Lord continues to teach me, guide me, lead me, fill me, and pick me up & because of that I can find peace.

So even though I can’t be on here to blog as often as possible as I used to, I truly pray that this can continue to be a blessing to others. I hope that those of you that find yourself visiting for the first time or if you’ve been a regular follower knows that our God is real. He has never let me go, through my short comings and stubborn nature, God still saves me. I am who I am today because of what He’s done on the cross. I pray that this blog can continue to be an encouragement of God’s hand moving in our lives. The fact that Alpha and I are both pursuing our dreams and both living out of state is a turn from where our lives were at a year ago. That alone is a true testament of how Great He is and how Soveriegn He is.

Continue to pursue Him when things are going well, press on even when you feel like you’ve failed Him. That’s when He wants you the most. Turn to Him. Love him. Seek Him. Draw near to Him. Wait for His perfect timing.

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;

Lamentations 3:22-25

Jesus is a name that actually means “Savior.” The Hebrew Jeshua means “the Lord is Salvation.”

Kari Jobe “I’m Singing”

This year alone…I’ve come so far. Not by my own will, but by His.

A day never goes by where I’m not humbled by His steadfast love for me.

I’m so unworthy of any of it.

I’m so thankful for the opportunity to follow my dreams and pursue a career where He always leads, guides & directs in His favor.

Never lacking but always providing.

I never thought I’d ever be thankful for every challenge & hardship I’ve endured but because of every tear shed— I can now have a deep appreciation for my today.

In constant awe of the endless love & devotion He’s given to me through family & friends.

The amount of gratitude I have will never be able to be fully expressed in mere words.

I’m humbled and undeserving

All I can do is magnify Him.

“He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

The Lord has been impressing that verse on me for quite some time now.

When he said on Song of Solomon 8:4, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” He is serious about it, just like He is serious about every thing He commanded us in the bible. But I am a stubborn eager child of His who thinks that I have a better plan. But He is a sovereign GOD who doesn’t have a better plan but the best plan. As I try to pursue it, he did not hesitate on letting me know after every disappointment that I surely can’t win this battle which has been going on for almost 9 months now. Seriously, what was I thinking?

In response to the question, “Should women pursue men?” a youth pastor said, “Don’t chase a man because if you start chasing him, you will have to chase him for the rest of your life.”

Although I was not actively chasing him but in my heart, I was holding on for something that should have not been there in the first place. All the idea of “us” I have formed in my head and thoughts I’ve entertained. Things I initiated instead of waiting for him.

Is that what I want? Do I really want to settle for something like that? That road, certainly leads to misery and heartache.

Although there is no direct answer in the bible on that question (“Should women pursue men?”), God has laid out some pretty clear guidelines on how man and woman should interact with each other. Biblical masculinity and femininity: how we are to carry our God given roles. Not what the world says but what the word of God dictates.

On Genesis, God created the man first (Genesis 2:7) for a reason. He appointed Adam to work on the Garden of Eden and take care of it (Genesis 2:15). Adam is in charged of the garden and it is his duty to supervise the affairs of his God given dominion. It wasn’t after the Lord recognized the need of Adam for a helper that He created the woman from Adam’s rib (Genesis 2:20b-22). In that fashion, the man is to lead and the woman is to submit under the authority of the man (in Eve’s case, Adam is already her husband).

Note: A woman should only submit to her husband alone (Ephesians 5:22 and 1 Peter 3:1A), not to every guy she dates, she likes or she thinks worthy of her submission.

A man is to lead a woman. And if he perfectly knows his God given role, he should not have a hard time figuring that out. He is to actively pursue the woman. He is not passive but initiate things with respect to her purity and protection of her heart.

So ladies, sorry but the whole modern idea on how women should take charge just won’t fly. That is going against the role God has ordained for us to fulfill. No matter how much we like this one guy and thinks he could be the one, if he is not pursuing you, you are setting yourself for a major heartache if you try to control things in your own hand. Besides, if he really is the man God has for you, he would not keep you guessing on what are his intentions towards you. He will let you know, take charge and win you over. It is that simple! Also, by trying to act like men by doing the work for them (being the initiator, asking him out first, etc), we are taking away the chance for these boys to exercise their responsibility to lead. Remember what God said in Proverbs 31: 12 regarding the godly woman, “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

Note: Preach this to myself.

As for my situation, I will continue to lift it up to the Lord. Because surely, I know that God doesn’t want me to settle for second best. As the Lord said on Psalm 27:4, “You have to wait for me, be strong and take heart and wait for me.”

Go measure the heavens with your span;
go weigh the mountains in the scales;
go take the ocean’s water and calculate each drop;
go count the sand upon the sea’s wide shore;
and when you have accomplished all of this,
then you can tell how much He loves you!
He has loved you long!
He has loved you well!
He will love you forever!

C. H. Spurgeon

So one thing I am completely sure of, His love for me will never change. Nothing I ever do will make Him love me any less.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. -Hebrew 13:8

Psalm 27:4

My heavenly father, it is my desire that I live all the days of my life exalting and magnifying your Holy name. That I may boast on nothing else but the cross. For you alone is most worthy of my praise. And nothing on earth and on this world is more beautiful than you.

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! -Psalm 8:1

Mercy falls from Your heart down on me
Glory streams from Your face so lovely
A million words could not describe
How marvelous Your perfect light

I adore You
I will sing it with all my heart
I adore You
I love everything You are

That my heart, beats to the rhythm of Your heart
That my eyes focus on Your beautiful eyes
A million tongues could not express
How beautiful Your holiness

MY LIFE IS YOURS AND WILL BE FOREVER
MY LOVE IS YOURS

-Phil Wickham, I adore you-

There is no place I would rather be than in your presence
Even in this wilderness I seek for your direction

I’m calling, I’m longing for more of you

I’m running, I’m running after you
Cause no one else will ever do
My heart is set on you

King of glory your my great reward, my one desire
Only you can satisfy my soul, please take me higher

I’m calling, I’m longing for more of you

I’m longing, I long to see your face
to feel the warmth of your embrace
I’m running after you

You are my reward
And its you I’m living for, take all that I am for I am yours