“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, ”plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Now that I’m approaching my last stretch of my undergrad, the end is near. But the lessons for sure aren’t ending. And I’m learning that each day. I knew life wasn’t going to get easier or less difficult, but I expected at least a little breather. It only gets harder and more challenging. I only get older and become acquainted with life’s ups & downs.

I’ve set out goals and plans that I hoped to achieve once I got done in May, I had a schedule of how I wanted life to be. Things were laid out to work in my favor and I would eventually achieve the career plans I’ve always imagined out for myself.

But I am quickly getting a rude awakening of the reality of it all. Especially living a life that is directed by me. No one knows for certain what the future has in store except for God. & I’ve found myself trying to take that role in this area of my life. This blog is really hard for me to write because I have to humble myself and put my pride aside. But I know that God is working through this experience.

Have you ever found yourself saying, ” if it’s God’s will…” do the words really align with our true intentions?  I now know that sometimes I say it but in my heart I try to reserve parts of my life that I still want control of.When I started applying for grad school this semester, I was sure that I was resting in the fact that whatever would happen, it would all be in God’s great timing. But after receiving my first letter telling me that they didn’t want me in their program, I was wrong. Although I knew I’d be stretching it, expecting to get into a school like that, I still had a drop of hope. Rejection, no matter the form or circumstance, still hurts. This actually just happened today. But writing this blog is helping me come to terms with how I can direct these emotions of discouragement back to a God who’s still in control over everything.

I know that this is only 1 letter in the midst of many so I have to prepare myself for whatever God has in store. Rest assure in a God who doesn’t look at my transcripts and test scores & who doesn’t need my letters of recommendation.

All He requires of me is an undivided heart, fully and devoted to him. He needs me raw & with no knowledge of my  honors or  GPA. Just Nicole. He wants me in true surrender of His sovereign will over ALL aspects of my life. How comforting is that to think about? A God so Holy and perfect would want people like us? People who are always falling short of His glory. I’m reminded of the peace that God’s grace and sufficiency gives me.

Because for whatever plan I had for myself  today,  may not be what He has planned out for me tomorrow. He’s ultimately still in control, this life is temporary in comparison to spending an eternity with Him…